a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
"I stopped counting a few decades ago. no. what’s the one with the zeros? millennia that’s it. human time keeping is so confusing."
I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion
Since her death in 1979, the woman who discovered what the universe is made of has not so much as received a memorial plaque. Her newspaper obituaries do not mention her greatest discovery. […] Every high school student knows that Isaac Newton discovered gravity, that Charles Darwin discovered evolution, and that Albert Einstein discovered the relativity of time. But when it comes to the composition of our universe, the textbooks simply say that the most abundant atom in the universe is hydrogen. And no one ever wonders how we know.
—Jeremy Knowles, discussing the complete lack of recognition Cecilia Payne gets, even today, for her revolutionary discovery. (via alliterate
straight boys wearing bras but calling them bruhs so they dont jeopardize their masculinity
what about battle ready armor
Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?
the prof asks the important questions.
Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD!!!
Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
wouldn’t it be cool if the person u wanted to be with also wanted to be with u
zeus….. IS the father
*hera throws chair and has to be restrained by security titans*
That’s it. That’s Greek mythology.
The police department told BuzzFeed that it did not know if the incident would be classified as a hate crime, but said the investigation would continue for months.